After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
