It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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