this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
