I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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