Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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