Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
