Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
