there's paper in my vomit.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
