after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
