Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
