I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
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