Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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