Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
