After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
