I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
