Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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