Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize