great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize