I hate all girls vehemently.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
