We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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