a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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