think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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