VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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