yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
