I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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