I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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