'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
