Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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