And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
