If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
