so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
