I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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