you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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