I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
