I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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