Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Sponge bath it is.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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