I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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