Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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