Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
