her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
even my farts smell like vagina
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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