Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
