her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
