So drunk its hurt
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
