May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
