Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize