Can Purell be used as lube?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Randomize
