i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
