So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
