If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
