Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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