yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
