Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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