how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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