paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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