My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize