it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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