she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I intend to get homeless drunk
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
