I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So much Jack, so little girl.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
