I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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