Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
