you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
