do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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