About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize