they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
