Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
