Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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